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hi guys . i know i haven't blogged in awhile (A2 trials in 2 weeks sorry !) . today's blog post is something out of the norm , it's about something serious and has been impacting me for quite awhile now , i've tweeted about it before but never really gone through it thoroughly .
today's blog post is about :
CAT-CALLING AND OBNOXIOUS STARING .
i'm pretty sure almost every girl has been cat-called at before . one of my freshest memories of such an incident happening to me when i was younger was at the tender age of thirteen . at that time , i'd gone to KL with two of my friends , a guy and a girl to the Bukit Bintang area to do some shopping . and even though me and my friends were tweens who looked so juvenile and probably acted like we were still in primary school , STILL there were men who whistled and stared at us . Even though we were with a guy friend who looked pretty big for his age , STILL these men couldn't keep their eyes to themselves and spoke about us in their native languages . you know that feeling when you walk past / see someone and instantly you know they're talking about you ? yep . now i don't mean to be racist , but i think all Malaysian girls and women alike would agree that such actions are usually done by the foreign workers and immigrants in the country . What more when the KL city centre is filled with such people ?
fast-forward six years later and I am almost nineteen now . of course i no longer look the same , but regardless , the same thing still happens when i'm alone or even with friends or my boyfriend . one more incident i can recall is in 2015 . me and my KTJ house mates from Jawahir planned a Leavers' Night for our seniors in KLCC . we were playing station games in the KLCC park when two or more immigrants who were standing near us began staring and speaking to each other . a few minutes later , they approached me and my friend and asked if they could take a picture with us . of course we said no , who knew what they would do to those photos ? Afterwards he walked away but still stood close enough to watch our every move , which of course made us queasy to even think about it . later , after they walked away for good , a senior came over to me and told me "Wan Chi , they were taking photos of you ."
the reason i'm writing about this today is because i went for a run today . i live in a residential area with lots of houses and a commercial area . usually when i run , i only run around the compounds of my housing area or i drive down to the nearby park which is frequented by other runners too . today i decided to challenge myself by running TO the park instead of driving , as i've seen many people do that before , plus i wanted to train for the upcoming cross country .
anyway , as i was on my way there , i ran past a group construction workers . needless to say of course , they began staring at me like they've never seen a girl before . one man called out to the other in their language and the latter responded with a laugh and an exchange of words . i was already feeling uncomfortable at this point so i ran faster than normal , away from them and towards the park . as i ran away , i could hear the faint noise of a phone camera's shutter clicking away , presumably a picture of me running .
i mean , have you not seen a girl running ??? does the image of a girl in shorts stimulate you to take a photo of her WITHOUT HER CONSENT ??? now , don't go telling me i can't wear shorts to run . if you do , you are the reason we need feminism . i live in a country where it's almost permanently 30 degrees Celsius everyday and i am obliged to wear shorts IF I WANT TO . if i can't even be comfortable jogging in my own housing area without having to worry and be scared of the people building our infrastructure , can i even be comfortable anywhere in this world ?
when i was running back to my house , ANOTHER group of immigrants (this time they were residential guards) were cycling and looked at me in that weird way of theirs again . i glared back fiercely , but yet they had no shame and continued staring .
the message i wanna send out today is that us girls shouldn't be so afraid and vulnerable to everything in the outside world . we do not need to change the way we dress , what we do or the way we act for others . others need to control the way they think , have more morale and keep their dicks to themselves cos frankly , they are the ones turning the world into a dangerous place . idk if you've seen this post , but this girl was raped by 10 immigrants , and she didn't even do anything wrong . all she did was wait for a bus and this is what she gets ??! when i read that post , it angered me so much and today i realised i could've been the next headline just by going jogging .
Disclaimer : although my post mainly revolves around the foreign workers in my country , this of course , does not just apply to them , but to all other men who've done the same thing to innocent girls . and to the men who i'm not even referring too , please don't come up with some stupid meninist statement because we all know what's going on is threatening your sister's safety , your girlfriend's , your female friends , your cousins , or even your mother . instead of standing up for obnoxious men , you should stand with the women of the nation , to lower the rate of rape / kidnap cases . after all , it all starts with a simple stare , which follows into a mild stalk , and then a rape case .
Happy New Year ! another year just passes by in the blink of an eye . during my New Year's Eve , i was hanging around Desa ParkCity for the countdown with my boyfriend and a few of our friends . when the countdown and fireworks were over , my bf turned to me and said "it doesn't feel like a new year yet" and our friend responded by saying "of course lah , it never does feel like a new year ; it's just another day" . and indeed , it's true . i don't think i'll be faced with the truth , at least , not until it's like April or something . HAHA
the one thing i noticed about 2016 , is the amount of people posting on Instagram / FB / Twitter about how their 2015 went or their new year resolutions . in fact , i might've been one of them ... if i had any pictures to post . fml . hence , i decided i might as well do a blog post to recap on all that i've been through on this one hell of a year . P.S. typing this makes me feel like i'm doing one of those YouTube Rewind things lolol .
(WARNING : LONG POST AHEAD)
one year ago , i celebrated my 2015 New Year's Eve at the exact same place i did this year , with the same boy but different friends .. i'm a creature of habit , i must say HAHA .
had some fun with half of the FAB girls before we went our separate ways ..
and of course , started my A-Levels program at KTJ ! i could still remember my first day , not knowing where to go and what to do because i was still nervous ahaha .
February was a pretty good month , with Valentine's and Chinese New Year - which also meant lots of pigging out on good food !
March signified the start of our first mid-term break , and i took the opportunity to attend my first MUN conference ever ! all i can say is , it's not really my thing HAHA .
also spent the rest of my holidays with my loved ones from KL and Penang , it was good to be back in my hometown :)
April was a stressful but exciting month , stressful because we all were about to have our A-level Maths exams but exciting because it was a month full of events to attend ! there's nothing i love more than dressing up and going to parties to meet all my friends heh 💓
May was my month ! my birthday month , that is . truly enjoyed my birthday this year as i received not one , but three surprises ! i've never gotten a surprise birthday party before so this came as a really joyful event for me 😿
it was also exam season ... so this was basically me after all our papers zz .
June and July were summer holiday season , so i spent it by interning at an international firm in KL (i won't say which) for 3 weeks . the internship was certainly an unforgettable experience .. spent the rest of the summer with Kun Yew / friends . also , finally FINALLY did a shoot with qt pie Joanna !
AUGUST - SEPTEMBER :
August meant going back to school , rushing to the dining hall just to be first in line , HOUSE SINGING (!!) , prep times and studying . glad to have gotten a single room this term as it was AS season and i certainly dreaded it :/
also , finally gave my overgrown hair the big chop !! just an extra bit of information : i cut it off in an indian barber shop for RM7 . HAHAHAH
AS season and study leave meant i could head home a lot , but that didn't mean i wasn't stressed out for exams .. still , had a lot of fun this month and my cousin got married !! it was also my first anniversary with the bf :)
NOVEMBER - DECEMBER :
these two recent months were months of friendship , months of giving and receiving , and months of new beginnings . i actually have more photos from November and December but haven't gotten the time to transfer them yet . very very grateful to reconnect with my Penang darlings in these months and also spend lots of time with my family :)
all in all , 2015 has definitely seen lots of ups and downs in my life . Religion-wise , i've been backsliding a lot this year , and admittedly i still haven't found my way back home . Academically , it's been a long struggle and at times i just really feel like giving up A-levels and pursuing an easier course . it has also been hard having to deal with family issues when it clashes with future plans i had in mind . Relationship-wise , my platonic relationships were proven to me , as i managed to single out those who really cared for me and those who didn't . it was amazing getting into a new environment and meeting people of all diversity . i truly enjoyed my time at KTJ and will continue to enjoy it despite their sometimes-overboard-rules .. In my romantic relationship , i must say that i've learnt a lot in this year . Just because a relationship looks perfect online doesn't mean it stays that way behind-the-scenes . Kun Yew and i have had our fair share of drama this year but i'm glad it made us stronger as individuals as well as a couple . Body image issues have always been something i struggled with but this year it took a toll on me as i gained a significant amount of weight . Having different sorts of news broken to me this year have given me mixed feelings , some overjoyed , some worried , and some sad .
i guess i never really wanted 2015 to end , as i thoroughly enjoyed so many moments in it . through the emotional and mental pain and struggle , through the fun moments and exciting events , i think i managed to mature holistically . thank you to those who stayed and those who left , i'm always grateful for new experiences and past lessons .
as for 2016 ? my only goal is to work hard on pleasing myself and not care about anyone else , as this is something i've always never been able to do .. i hope all of you have an amazing New Year , set those resolutions right and work for it . Thank you so much for reading and being with me for one year xxx