this isn’t really a blog post about anything , it’s more of a recollection of my feelings throughout this month and i think its important to record it down so i can read it and reflect back on it in the future :)
if you were here expecting some pictures or a post about my life , then i apologize in advance for the wordy post i am about to write :(
okay so a few weeks ago , something made me really sad . i won’t tell you guys what it is , but i think you guys have a pretty good guess on what it is . and when i say “really sad” , i mean SUPER sad . in fact , i don’t think i’ve ever felt that kind of sadness in a long time … whatever that happened killed me to the core and i was so hurt that i cried every night for days . i was truly at my weakest point and i felt so down about everything . it was okay during the day time because i went to school and had friends to distract me , but every night when i was alone , the memories just seem to come back and haunt me and i would end up sitting in a corner and try to think about what went wrong .
even though all i wanted back then was for everything to go back to the way it was , i knew i had to move on . i asked for advise from various people and tumblr-ed a lot HAHAHAHA . but even so , i was still having a hard time trying to cope . every single day i had to push back the urge to text him and i just wished and wished that somehow he’d come back to me but the harsh reality is that of course , he wouldn’t . it was so hard to get through everyday , knowing that whatever i did would have no point anymore . (those who study Sejarah (form 4 chapter 9) , let me just say that this period was the Zaman Gelap of my year HAHAHA)
i can’t stop stressing about how emotionally broken i was back then , there was even once where i just broke down in the bathroom for 10 minutes because i felt so terribly awful . but right from the start , i knew i had to be strong and move on . so i started picking up the pieces . (Zaman Reformasi starting LOLOL )
i was really lucky because in during the time where i was at my weakest , my school was super busy with their preparations for Sports Day . thus , lots of lessons at school were disrupted as a lot of students were not in class . so i took a week off school , mainly to pull myself back together and also to study for the upcoming exams .
during my week off , i did all sorts of things to distract myself . i studied shitloads , baked a lot , worked out a little , played piano etc etc . and even though the feelings still came back to haunt me sometimes , they were slowly fading away . and ever since i picked recovery and moving on , every morning i prayed to God to give me strength to pull through . and miraculously , i regained my positivity little by little .
it was so hard picking myself up and trying to be okay again , but i’m glad to say i eventually pulled through in the grace of God . from that point onwards , things started to get better . i may have lost a relationship , but i gained stronger bonds in my friendship with my friends , and i had the time of my life with them after exams . my hardcore studying paid off , and i got really satisfying results this term . and honestly i am so glad the fire within me is still burning since Bible Camp ‘13 … and at that point i was so so happy with my life , with so many good things coming to me and nothing standing in my way and i never want that happy feeling to end because IT FELT SOOOO GOOD TO BE HAPPY AGAIN .
and yes of course , i moved on for the better . i stopped looking back , because i knew the moment i start to look back , i would be falling into old patterns again .. so i looked forward and remained positive , and sooner or later it was no longer hard for me to look at photos of him or talk to him .
so i guess my whole point of writing this post is to remind myself in the future , that whenever things seem to take a toll at you , always turn back to God and be positive , because you can’t have a rainbow without a little rain . and right now i’m so glad because my rainbow is shining bright and strong :) the purpose of this post is also to remind myself that i am stronger than i think , and i can get through all the darkest moments in life and someday i will look back at these moments and thank myself for being strong .
ending my post here , if you managed to read till the end , congrats !!! HAHAAH
Labels: Personal, Relationship
UK Total Haul + Unboxing my first perfume !
chocolate + baking supplies haul
tops and dresses haul
uncategorized haul hahaha
for the prices of everything , check out the individual UK blog posts ! :D
and now , unboxing my first ever designer perfume !
hello gorgeous !! wanted the Couture La La at first because the packaging was prettier HAHA (you all know i care a lot about how things look) but decided on Viva La Juicy cos it smelled so much nicer !
and TADAHHHHH ! so prettyyyyy <3
oh and also the free purse , which was kind of a disappointment really , i expected more from Juicy Couture :(
will update soon !
Labels: Vacation, Vanity
UK Trip : Day 11 and 12
LAST UK TRIP BLOG POST OMG AT LONG LAST HAHAHA . idk why i have a feeling you all are dead bored of my UK posts … therefore i apologize for being so draggy :((
on a side note , just finished my first exams of the year and my results are really satisfying so i’m grateful for that :D ok leggo !
last photo in Newcastle !! went to breakfast with my brother’s sort-of foster brother in the morning and flew back to London after that … it was also the day where there was a football match at Arsenal so the train was REALLY packed on the way home , but once the trained stopped at Arsenal , everyone got off and it was the first time a train had ever been so empty on this trip HAHAHHA
went to The Mall at Wood Green cos my mom insisted i needed a leather bag … ooookay mom
The Mall is very very very much like the Sg Wang / Times Square in KL … price-wise i mean . everything is dirt cheap there ! :o
so i finally got my first designer bag from TK-Maxx ! i wouldn’t say my family is rich but we are pretty well to do , however my parents aren’t the type that would spoil their kids with branded items because they want us to know the value of money … and i wouldn’t have got a designer bag if it wasn’t sold at TK Maxx (known for selling rejected branded items) . the original price of my bag was £269.90 , but i got it for £77.00 at TK Maxx ! the bag was in good conditions and i couldn’t find anything faulty with it so i was quite happy with my purchase ! :D
we were heading back to Malaysia the next day so i had to start packing :S oh noo …
my total haul after 11 days D: i swear it was at least 10kg !! okay maybe not haha
also this is where i slept for the most of my trip … on a makeshift bed made out of two comforters .. it isn’t the best of course , but it was good enough :)
Day 12 !! went for breakfast at The Gilpin’s Bell , another one of Weatherspoon’s restaurants (DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE WEATHERSPOON)
shared a final big english breakfast and greek yoghourt with fruits with le mom !! SOOOOO YUMMY NO REGRETS .
our flight was at night so we had some time to spend so we wen’t to King’s Cross St Pancras Station …
hello King’s Cross :D if you know me well enough , i bet you can already guess why i wanted to visit a train station LOLOL
for the iconic Platform 9 and 3/4 of course !!! hehehehehehhehe
lots of people lining up … the set-up is pretty fake actually since it wasn’t even on a platform … in fact it was OUTSIDE all the other platforms BUT WHO CARES IT’S HARRY POTTER :DDDD as you can see in the photo , they provided scarves as props for the people who visited !
and of course i picked my house scarf , Ravenclaw ! <3 <3 <3 hahah the sampat people working there pulled the scarf to make it seem like it’s flying :p
went to Oxford Street again after that because my mom STILL isn’t satisfied with her shopping *facepalms* so i went to H&M again !
gosh don’t the mannequins at H&M look like Ju-on ? imagine being one of the cleaners and cleaning up the place late at night as the clock strikes twelve , with no-one else in sight … HAHAHA OK LET’S NOT GO OFF TOPIC .
YOLO-ed and got myself a double-scoop ice-cream after that !! chocolate + cookies and cream ! no idea why my scoop of cookies and cream is placed so lopsidedly BUT IT WAS SO YUMMY ALL THE SAME . i looooove dairy products in the UK , so much better than Malaysia’s !!! i don’t care if it was winter , ice-cream time is anytime i have the opportunity ! :p
went to this tiny supermarket called Aldi on the way home ! they sell chocolate at an extremely cheap price so i had to go hahaha
haul of the day !!!
Skirt from F21 - £5
rose clips from H&M - £0.50 (SHOULD’VE GOTTEN MORE DAMMIT)
baking needs and chocolate - £5.30 SOOOO CHEAP I SWEAR . the fondant is sold at approximately £4.5 in Malaysia but at Aldi it was only £0.99 !! what !!!!
then it was time to pack and leave for the airport T_____T packing was REALLY hard for us cos me and my mom only came with 2 luggage bags … we bought another luggage bag while we were in UK but it STILL wasn’t enough FOL . anyway after much squashing and moving things around , finally we were done ! phew !
luggage filled with chocolate … im not kidding there is ONLY chocolates in this bag .
heheh also got my first designer perfume at the airport !! the original scent from Juicy Couture , only £50 and it comes with a free purse !
food on the plane !! i really really love being on planes , and plane food > all other food HAHAHHA .
also … this is how much i spent in total after 12 Days in UK :'(((( nvm it’s not my money HAHA .
next blog post will be a sum-up of ALL my hauls throughout this trip + unboxing my new perfume ! look forward to it ! <3
Labels: Obsessions, Vacation
UK Trip : Day 10
we went for a one-day trip to Durham on Day 10 !! for those of you who do not know , Durham is a small city to the south of Newcastle ! my brother already been there once and told us it was really pretty so we decided to take a train there :D
at the train station ! hehehe i like this picture , credits to le brother !
arrived in Durham !! OMG . IT . WAS . SO . COLD . i know i describe everywhere as cold BUT SRSLY THE WIND WAS SO STRONGGGGG . thank goodness for the windbreaker i borrowed from Victoria or i would’ve froze to death :S
my brother was right , Durham IS REALLY PRETTY !!! such a cosy little town with lots of castles , perfect place to retire if you don’t mind the cold LOLOLOL
with one of the castles !! look at the windddddd :(
walked around Durham Marketplace for awhile ! love that place <3
at the Durham Cathedral !! unlike the Christ Church Cathedral in Oxford , admission to Durham Cathedral was free (HOORAY FREE STUFF)
photos were not allowed in most parts of the Cathedral , except the courtyard . and it was totally fine for me because …
look at the courtyard !!!! does it ring a bell ?!?!?!?!? DOES IT DOES IT !!!! HOHOHOHO
THAT’S RIGHT !!! A LOT OF THE HARRY POTTER SCENES WERE FILMED HERE !! and i mean A LOT . (click here to view more scenes)
as you all know , i’m a huge Potterhead so i was super happy because it was my second Harry Potter place on this trip !!11!!1! :DDD
they had a Lego version of the Cathedral and apparently you could add a piece of Lego to the set by paying 2 pounds or so ?? hahaha i bet the staff constantly removes a few pieces of Lego every night just so it won’t look too full :p
had fish and chips for dinner at one of the local restaurants !!! bro said it was more like flour and chips cos the fish batter was so thick HAHAHAH .
last photo with the photocopy !!! <3
also , here’s proof that i wasn’t exaggerating when i said it was DAMN COLD . look at my fingers !! :S any longer and i would’ve gotten frostbite ! D:
will update soon but i have exams in 3 days so maybe not so soon :((( thanks for reading and keeping up with me ! <3
Labels: Family, Vacation