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Hello there sweetheart(s)! I'm Wan Chi and welcome to my personal space. I grew up in lovely Malaysia and I'm based in London now. You're welcome to explore as much as you want and ask any questions but please, be nice and be respectful. Thanks! ♥


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  Sudio Wireless Earphones Review + Free Discount Code!! : Pink Sudio NIVÅ
Hi everyone! First off, I’m a huge fan of apple products but... is it just me or do you always have bad luck with your Apple earphones?? Let me tell you my experiences HAHA. 

Experience 1: When I was using my iPhone 6S, I was at the gym once and was running on the treadmill. Naturally, I was listening to music with my phone on the little ledge of the treadmill. Unfortunately, at some point I wanted to change the music and accidentally yanked on the earphones.... and as a result my phone got disconnected from the earphones, it hit the treadmill, rolled all the way back, and hit the ground one more time fml. By the time I picked it up, the screen had shattered all the way and the screen looked like a broken TV. 

Experience 2: Fast forward 2 years later and I’m now using an iPhone 7 Plus.. which means the earphones are connected via the charging port now and an adapter is needed to connect my phone to my earphones. Nothing rly went wrong there but after a few months my earphones went haywire??? Like you have to twist it a certain way in order to hear any sound from it, which is really really annoying when you’re walking around but your earphones keep getting messed up. 

*

Since awhile ago I was deliberating whether or not to get a new pair or Apple earphones because my old ones were really annoying. Fortunately, Sudio Sweden contacted me and decided to give me a pair of their Sudio NIVÅ, which is their newly-launched first-ever truly wireless earphones collection to review and keep! LIFESAVER ALERT. 


Here’s how the package looked like, all the way from Sweden! I chose the colour pink (naturally) and loved the packaging. It's real sleek and simple and it came with a gift bag too, perfect if you’re planning to give it to someone else. 

And here’s how it looks like after I unpacked it! The earphones come with a charging cable, a user manual, and 3 sizes of earphone sleeves. 


Really glad they had smaller earphone sleeves to fit all sizes, since the normal sized ones were too big for me.




Close-ups. The earphones are labelled with "R" and "L" for convenience and are magnetic so they hold really well in their case! Tell me that colour isn’t the most gorgeous pink ever 😍😍😍 Sudio NIVÅ earphones feature 3.5 hours of battery life, making it a great companion for days out or days in. 


The case is really compact and small as well, here it is compared to my huge iPhone 7 Plus. It makes it really easy to keep and carry around in your pocket/handbag. 


I think the best part of the case is that it’s made not just for storage purposes, it also doubles as a contemporary design piece that can go anywhere with you. It provides an additional 4 charges - bringing total play time to a whopping 17.5 hours of battery life


 
The earphones are really easy to connect via a laptop/phone. All you have to do is turn on your Bluetooth, turn on the earphones by clicking on its buttons for about 3 seconds, and click connect on your device! When it’s time to switch off the earphones, simply click on the earphone buttons until the light turns red, or just pop them back in their box and they'll turn of automatically. 


Finally guys, remember my earphones accident in the gym? So glad that problem can be avoided now, since Sudio NIVÅ is a wireless and also sweat-proof accessory that’s provided with 3 pairs of different-sized sleeves for the most secure fit and comfort for your ears! 

 
Earphones that are so pretty they match your sports bra?? YES PLEASE. 


What are you waiting for? Head over to www.sudio.com/my now to get your own! 
Don’t forget to quote “WANCHI” when you check out for 15% off any products. 
For a limited time only, Sudio Sweden is offering FREE POSTAGE to Malaysia! 

What more, you’ll get a pack of super aesthetic coasters as a free gift. Pic taken from their website since the photos I took weren’t as pretty HAHA. 



Last but not least, I must commend them on their sound quality, the most important part of any pair of earphones. It is noise-cancelling and my music always sounds crisp and clear. Most of the times when I have them plugged in, I can't even hear it when people are trying to talk to me lolol. Thanks for all the love, Sudio! 

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  Heartbreak: one year later.
A video with the same title by Monica Church showed up on my YouTube feed one day. Out of curiousity, I watched it, and was pleasantly surprised. The video really hit home as Monica talked about all the things she learned and went through along her heartbreak, and inspired me to write down my own experience as well. The purpose of me writing this isn’t for clout or for anyone to sympathise with me, it's for me to tell all those girls out there that you can lose your love of your life, live with a hole in your heart for a really long time, and still be a survivor.

As you all may or may not know, I used to be together with someone for close to three years. Sometimes, I wish I never met him. Other times, I'm glad we had that three years, because we grew and we transitioned into different people from when we first started off, and we truly learnt a lot from each other. My relationship was kinda a high profile one, and I have to admit that I did think I would spend the rest of my life with him. I'm sure most girls have met someone like that before, and if you're one of the lucky ones - you do end up spending your life with the person you love the most. In other cases, you lose the biggest love of your life. More than one year ago, I did.

To say that he wasn't the biggest love of my life would just be me being in denial. I do admit that I've never loved anyone that hard or that long before, so it really took me a long long time to come to where I am now. In the beginning, I spent weeks waking up with him as my first thought, not wanting to get out of bed, yet knowing I needed to get shit done at uni. I surrounded myself with people all the time, unwilling to feel consciously alone, and looking for some sort of distraction to prevent the thoughts of him. It came to a point where I didn't even really want to stay alone in my room at night, so I just kept visiting my friends' houses and spent late nights talking and talking. But no matter how much you talk about it, you can never really lose the feeling of emptiness of your heart.

"You can drink too much and forget the night before but I've learned you can never drink enough to forget the people you've loved and lost."

I agree with this quote, and I don't think you can ever learn to unlove an ex-lover, because some part of your heart will always have a soft spot for them. You don't unlove them, you just learn to live without them, and one day - you realise you still love them, but not in the same way anymore. My two ex-es will always be people I care about, and I will always wish them well. 

There are some days after months where you will still wake up with a sharp pang in your heart, or when you see them around accidentally and you can feel the colour drain from your face as you try your best not to cry. It all sucks because nobody likes to feel pain, and nobody likes discomfort, but let it hurt until it hurts no more. Listen to me, you can cry, you WILL cry, but one day you will learn that you needed to go through those tears. It was all so you could find yourself more, and discover your inner strength.

Just recently, I went to LANY's concert in London, and they were playing all these sad heartbreak songs in conjunction with their new Malibu Nights album (LOVVEEEE, by the way). The next day, my sister texted me and said "How was it? Did you cry?" and my reply was "No I didn't, because I'm not as sad as I used to be anymore". That's when I've realised how much progress I made, because I used to cry every time I listened to Lorde's Melodrama album. My point is, you won't realise it - but all those little things you do to make yourself better, to grow yourself - all those little things will one day show up eventually. 

Recently I've tried practicing a lot of positive self talk, inspired by the "Love Rice and Hate Rice" experiment (google it, it's quite interesting!!). I used to get up in the morning, look at myself in the mirror, and mentally say stuff like "I'm so fat I hate my body, wish my face was more symmetric, ugh I hate life" etc etc. Since I'm naturally not a very confident person, all these bad thoughts only reinforced my perception of myself that I'm not worthy. Instead, now when I get up, I try to tell myself things like "Your body's great, your thighs are not fat, you look really good and you're doing great at life". It's funny, because even if you don't believe those words you tell yourself, you start seeing yourself becoming a happier person. 

It's also ironic that the last sentence noted that I'm happy yet I feel a lump in my throat writing this. I always say in my tweets that it's been an emotional year, and it has - so much turmoil and distress, yet so much pride and joy in doing and achieving the things I love.  

Going through heartbreak was not easy, and I don't claim it ever will be for anyone, but going through heartbreak made me learn a little bit more about myself. It made me lose a few friends along the way, but it also made me realise the true people I need in my life. Not having a relationship for more than a year also meant I had a lot of surplus time, meaning I spent time with my family more, and start to gain perspective into their individual lives. It made me value all these other little connections more, and it made me see that it really, really wasn't the end of the world for me.

Trust me because I've gone through this: you will be okay again and you'll be happy for yourself again. I have achieved so much since that sad girl and one year later, and I'm so so honoured to say this. Maybe parts of that sad girl still remains, and maybe she always will. But I've learnt to make peace with that sad girl, I've learnt to pat her on the shoulder, pick her up and tell her to take it day by day. And I've learnt that one year, one year really goes by in the blink of an eye. You can do and learn a lot in one year, and you'll look back at your past year and think - wow, I've survived. Just remember, you need to be your own mentor, your own life coach, and you need to believe in yourself that you are an amazing person and you deserve happiness too. Everyone does.
  A Malaysian's Perspective: How I Secured Internships in UK
Hi everyone! I'm writing this post because it's that time of the year again where UK university students scramble to apply for internships/jobs, trying to beat the clock and write as many cover letters as possible. I too, was in that position last year, and trust me - I know how long and hard it can get. Being an immigrant in the UK and needing a working visa is already challenging enough, what more when you've got to compete with the best students around the UK at assessment centres?


Before you begin to stress out, let me just remind you that it will be all okay in the end! 

As a way of introduction for those of you who do not know, I'm currently in my third year studying Actuarial Science at LSE. In my second year, I managed to secure two internship opportunities in the UK - a banking one at a large leading global bank, and an actuarial one at a small UK-based actuarial consulting firm. In the end, I chose the actuarial one after much deliberation. I was based in London and ended up being the only Asian/immigrant intern within my department.

Also, disclaimer: I don't claim that everyone will secure an internship via this guide, this is merely my own experience that I've decided to put into words, and every experience will of course be different. I also don't claim to have secured the most high-paying internships or the biggest companies, but if you're like me - getting to work in UK is better than not at all. After all, RM5.5 = £1 am I right? HAHA. Above all, and I always like to say this, everyone has different methods of getting to their goal, and it doesn't mean that one specific way is always the "right" way. Now, let's get on to the main points.
  1. CV and cover letter.
    By far the most important thing on this list. Make sure your CV is up to date before you start applying and you have an idea of what your cover letter is going to be like. If you have any new experiences along the way, ensure that you update your CV as you go along. Get additional support!! Last year, I made sure to make use of my university's support system and signed up to get my CV and cover letter checked by one of the people who specialised in that department. If your uni does provide such services, I strongly recommend that you attend a session and have them analyse your CV and cover letter. Besides that, I like to cross-check CVs with my friends. I would get my friends to proofread it and let me know their thoughts, then adjust accordingly - it is always great to hear feedback from your peers. If you have no idea how to write a CV/cover letter, don't be afraid to ask someone or search it up online! There are tons of materials online/provided by universities, so make sure you have a strong and concise CV/cover letter.

  2. Start applying early.
    Deadlines are sooner than you think! When I first started applying last year, I began checking out companies late August. As you all know, its already October as you read this, so if you haven't began applying yet, get cracking! Most of the deadlines of large firms range from October-December, though if you're lucky you may be able to find some which stretch all the way to the next year's February. Do bear in mind that internship deadlines in the UK are far earlier than those in Malaysia, so if you plan to apply to both countries, it is advisable to put off the Malaysian ones until you are done with the UK ones. Note that internship deadlines in competitive places like Hong Kong and Singapore are also pretty early!

  3. Pay attention to entry requirements.
    There is no point to apply to something if you don't meet the entry requirements and will be rejected due to that. Entry requirements are usually stated very clearly on the application pages of companies, so it's not hard to miss. For example, some companies require you to have a minimum number of UCAS points, or a predicted 2:1 or higher in your degree. There are also some which state "Please note that we do not sponsor working visas", so if you're looking for an internship which may offer you a future job in the UK, you might want to steer clear of these companies and save your time.

  4. Apply to everything and anything.
    Even the smaller companies, because sometimes that's the only ones you might get. Humble yourself and don't discriminate between companies - chances are you're more suited for a small company compared to a large conglomerate. Applying to multiple companies/industries also naturally raise your chances of getting an internship! For me, as I'm studying Actuarial Science, I knew that the skills and knowledge from my degree would not only be limited to insurance and pensions companies, but could also be implemented in financial services, consulting etc. Hence, I applied to all industries across that spectrum just to try my luck! In the end, I applied to about 50 firms, and although I've only managed to get 2 internship offers out of it, it gave me a wider perspective on the different types of work I could venture into and the types of careers which weren't suited for me. So my point here is - keep your options open, you might find something you never imagined to be a part of.

  5. You DON'T have to work in London.
    When I was busy applying in the beginning, I had a goal to stay in London. After all, who WOULDN'T want to work in the coolest city in England? Later on, I found that applications in London were far more in number than anywhere else in the UK, and naturally, more competitive. Furthermore, people tend to overlook the fact that London is also one of the most expensive cities to live in in the world. This may seem trivial during your internship period, but if you do get offered a full time job after your internship, you'll find that this is honestly quite a difficult problem to deal with. Upon completing my internship here, I realised that if given the opportunity to apply again, I would apply outskirts of London. To reiterate, it is way cheaper in the long run to live somewhere else, and you better your chances at getting an internship. If anything, you can always request for a transfer to London once you get a full-time job.

  6. Do your research!
    One of my most embarrassing moments was when I had a phone interview with a private equity firm, when I had close to zero ideas on what the private equity industry was actually like! Needless to say, I got rejected. Do pay attention to all the small details such as the technical skills you may require and the latest company news, instead of just the basic "Vision and Mission" of the company, and basic information about what they do. Everyone likes to feel specia, so show them that you tailored your thoughts to them, and that they are special to you (despite the fact that you made 50 applications lol).

  7. Read, read, read.
    Can't stress this enough, always be up to date with industry news! Its 2018 now, and cryptocurrency is so last year. Find out what's new in the market, and stay knowledgeable by reading the news, there are tons online! For more finance-related stuff, go for The Economist or FT. I find that the former is very easy to understand, whilst the latter is always very in-depth and detailed. If you don't really like reading, try watching informative videos online! Two channels I really like is Vox and Ted-Ed. The Economist and FT produces videos too! There are unlimited resources online, so don't limit yourself to my suggestions here.

  8. Practice doing assessment tests.
    Especially if you're not good at them/have little background on the industry you applied for! Its not true that these things can't be improved on. Practice makes perfect as we know it, and there are loads of practice tests available online. For example, you're a History student who wants to do banking. The last time you did maths was probably a long time ago. Even if you used to be great at it, it's best to familiarise yourself with the type of questions that firms test you on. You may skip this step if you're totally comfortable with the idea of impromptu testing, or if you've done enough of them to know how it's like.

  9. Track your progress.
    It starts getting messy when you've applied to a ton of companies, so its best that you keep a record of what you've applied to and what stage of the applications you are. I did this by writing it all down in a book and creating a folder in my email for internship-related stuff. By organising your internships well, its easier to make sure you don't miss out any deadlines, to see which ones you should prioritise, and what further steps you may need to take. Its also good to note down all the usernames and passwords you're using for different websites, because sometimes its hard when you've applied for so many thing.

  10. Practice interviewing yourself.
    So important! Record yourself if you need to. Lots of companies do video/phone interviews before you get to the final interview. Most of the times, what you sound like in your head is not what you sound like in person. Practice with a friend too! Your friends will be able to give you feedback about how you sound, if you're going too fast, or things you missed out. I like to write down potential questions the interviewer might ask, and the answers I will potentially give, then memorise the key points and get a friend to interview me.

  11. Just be yourself.
    When I was offered an interview at the actuarial firm, I had already received an offer for a summer internship with the banking firm. Hence, I knew I had a backup plan no matter what. At the actuarial interview, I was as chill as can be and was totally relaxed. No rehearsed answers, no tension. In the end, it turned out to be one of the best interviews I've done. So remember, don't get too nervous - you've gotten this far, now you just have to show them you're the one for the job. Companies like people who not only excel academically, but also have people skills and can communicate well. Show them your true personality and how you might fit into the company! 

  12. Don't give up. 
    There will come a shitty point in time where all you're facing is rejection and failures. Trust me, I've been there too. There were weeks where I woke up most mornings and see another rejection email in my inbox. It's not a pleasant way to start your day. What you need to bear in mind is that it is very very competitive and you should be proud of yourself for doing so much! Also, getting rejected does not always equate to you not being good enough. Sometimes it just so happens that you don't quite fit well in a company, and might fit better in others. And if you don't get an internship in the UK but you really wanted to, its still not the end of the world. You could always apply for a grad role the next year and do it all again! And if, in all honesty, you don't even want to apply to the UK - don't let your FOMO and peer pressure make you feel like you have to apply just because your friends are all doing it. Finally, your self worth is not defined by the number of applications you've submitted, or the number of assessment centres you went to. 
Thanks for coming to my Ted talk blog and reading this, and I wish you all the best of luck.
  Summer Vacations - 2018
During summer this year I was super fortunate to be able to travel to parts of Europe and Asia, namely - Portugal, Vietnam, China and Taiwan. Visited Portugal right after exams with a bunch of my friends, and visited the rest of the places after I headed back to Malaysia when I ended my internship! (By the way, should I blog about my internships? Let me know your thoughts.)


Visited Lisbon and Porto in June and it was truly such an amazing experience. The weather was super pretty and chill, the company was great, and the food (especially Portugese egg tarts yummm) was so so good. 

Check out some of my photos below!





Also made a vlog on my whole experience! Recently I've got a newfound appreciation for vlogs because I love how they bring us back to that exact time and place, and how you are able to reconnect with someone you once were in that situation. 

Click to watch or click here.

Moving on to my (many) Asian trips! All of these trips were taken with my family members, and I honestly felt that this was one of the best decisions I made this summer. Not only did I bond and reconnect with them, but I also got to understand their perspectives on life a bit better. There were a lot of things I didn't understand about my family when I was younger, and a lot of times where I resented the decisions they made. But as we grow older, we start to understand why people behave the way they do, and with that understanding comes compassion and forgiveness. Growing up definitely taught me a lot more about the love a family shares, and it also makes me miss my family a lot more when I've been away from them a long time. Oh boy, getting emotional now - let's not digress. 





Vietnam! Craziest traffic I've experienced in my life, super humid weather, amazing coffee. Used to think the traffic in Bangkok was the worst, Vietnam has truly proved me wrong. We mainly stayed in Hanoi but visited Halong Bay for about 3 days. Honestly preferred Halong Bay due to the seaside views and chill atmosphere, as compared to the hustle and bustle of Hanoi's city.







Hangzhou, China.

Spent about 3/4 days in Hangzhou and felt that it was an adequate amount of time to chill and rejuvenate while checking out China's old charms. The pushiness of the Chinese did scare me at times tho :x fortunately, most of the people there are super friendly and are willing to help! Missing the Biang Biang noodles me and my sister got to try at a local restaurant by the street. 

And finally, Taiwan.






It has always been our dream to go travelling alone since my sister and I were children. When we went on trips with our parents as teenagers/kids, we would always sneak out at night and visit convenience stores/walk around the neighbourhood streets. In hindsight that was kinda dangerous (sorry mom and dad!) but it really fuelled our dreams to travel on our own. 

You know that feeling when you hang out with someone for too long and you just start getting annoyed at each other? HAHA, there are times where that happened to us and we wanted to just yell at each other, but thats what sisters are for right? :P Ultimately, my sister is one of my best friends in life, and I can't wait for more future adventures together. Check out my vlog below!

Or click here to watch on Youtube. The vlog above summarises most of the trip according to our itinerary, but if you want the full itnerary - feel free to message me on any of my social media platforms :)

Thanks so much for reading and stay tuned - something exciting coming up soon! 

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  Better Days
UPDATE: I'M BLONDE NOW!! Well, sort of. Did a balayage with 76STYLE, my favourite place to do my hair, albeit its hefty price tags. Also did eyelash extensions!! 

Been going through a lot of change lately, not just physically, but also emotionally and mentally. It feels good, to look back at the past year and realise how much stronger and more resilient I've become. Did an internship in London over the Summer and surprisingly really enjoyed it, and glad to finally make my own bucks. Or pounds, in this case; haha. Paid for all my beauty stuff by myself, so even though I'm high maintenance, at least I can sustain it HAHA.


Also, truly truly have an immense amount of gratitude for my support system and the people who always got my back. I don't write a lot on my blog anymore, but just to update you all that I'm in a really good place now. There's still room for improvement, but I'm working on it. I hope everyone else is too. Hoping to go back to blogging about my bigger life events soon, but it has been busy busy busy! Maybe I'll be able to keep this up?

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  twenty-one


Hi all. I know lately my posts haven't been the most encouraging or positive, unlike my older posts from previous years. As I've mentioned before, the truth is, I haven't been feeling like my best self these past months. As June rolls to an end and I finish up my second year at university, I think its important to have a sort of self-reflection with myself. 

Although it was a mere 12 months, I do feel as if this past year has been the most struggling one in my life yet. Not gonna lie, I've experienced heartbreak like no other, the chase for a competitive career, the toil put into studying, the desperation of trying to secure an internship, the desolation of rejection and so much more. I guess that's the thing nobody ever told you, that love and loss come hand in hand. And you don't remember it, but at some point, there was that "last time" nobody warned you against. The last time you went out to play in the grass, the last time you saw your grandmother smile, the last time you did something meaningful. For a big chunk of the past year, I felt as though I was just living life as it is, without meaning, without direction. I felt like a sailboat lost at sea, with no compass. Needless to say, it was a pretty depressing year for me. There were even points where I went for counselling and considered signing up for emotional therapy.

However, I learned that everything in life comes with a lesson. I have always cared too much about what people thought of me, and as a result - always took everything way too personally, but yet always tried to believe that there was good in everyone. This time, I learned that sometimes no matter how many chances you give out to people, sometimes they don't deserve it. Sometimes you have to let go of some people in your life because that's how you grow. And even if it pains you to leave some people behind, we just have to remember that it's all part of life's journey. As we grow up, some people grow apart; and that's okay. 

Which brings me to the second big thing I am trying to learn, to deal with negativity better. Rejection, to me, was always hard to deal with. After all, it's always nicer to get what you want, and to prove yourself. At the beginning of the semester last year, I got rejected from so many companies when I was applying for internships that at some point, I truly felt hopeless. I just started feeling as if my sweat and tears weren't worth it anymore. Besides that, something I've always felt conscious about is how social media makes me feel. We are all slaves to it, and yet when I see something that doesn't impact me well, I'm not gonna lie, it does affect me quite a bit, and I usually end up spending the whole day with that specific thing in the back of my mind. I took a few breaks off social media, but always returned. Always a slave to it. Rejection from my personal life, and some rejection from my online life, definitely didn't make me feel good. And I'm still trying to find a way to cope with it now. Trying to take things less personally, to not let one failure dictate my life, and to never let anyone tell me what I should do or feel. 

21 is such a confusing age to be; you're no longer a teenager, yet you're not old enough to carry yourself through life and call yourself an adult. But yet, with all the sadness I've been through, I am most grateful for the support system I have. For my family and friends who always got my back through and through, and for anyone who's ever reached out to me and asked if I needed support. Thank you for loving me despite all my flaws, and I hope one day I will be able to love myself too. As I now transition onwards as a 21-year-old, I hope the next year will bring in better days and more lessons. Thank you for reading. 

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  when it's just not enough
Honestly not even sure if anyone ever reads this space anymore, but if you do - thank you. 
One of my New Year's Resolution was to grow internally, but lately (for the past few months), I haven't been feeling like my absolute best. There were just too many days I didn't feel like getting up, too many mini panic attacks, too much overthinking and a lot of which I felt was too much to deal with. I know I always try to portray myself as a positive person online, but I don't think I should hide this part which is wholly still me. The truth is, we are all gonna have our ups and downs in life. A bad week or month shouldn't depict how we feel for the rest of our days. Yet, why do little things always bother me so much? 

I hope we all fall in love in 2018. With ourselves. 
  Transitional Thoughts
Not even gonna start off with my usual "wow I haven't blogged in so long" style. HAHA. Instead, let me start off with a warning that this is a rather wordy post, so feel free to leave if that isn't your thing.

 
(Here is a rather shit quality photo of me because I am rubbish at editing.) 

Every time a new year dawns upon us, I am forced to think about the fact that there will be an increase to the number I tell people when they ask for my age. Even though I hit the big 2-0 last year (oh my goodness I am old), I mentally and emotionally still felt like the 16/17-year-old me. Admittedly, I felt the same when turning 18 and 19. Perhaps the reason behind that was because there wasn't much change in my life? Everything was rather smooth sailing despite a few hiccups here and there. With that, I could probably say that 2017 was the toughest year of my life, but it made me grow up, and gave me the push I needed. 

When faced with hardship, we often blame it on whatever we can. On timing, on situations, on people, even. Sometimes on God, too. It's easy to blame and blame because then, we won't be held responsible for our actions. I saw this tweet the other day, it said: 
"We often judge people based on their actions but judge ourselves based on our intentions. Why don't we judge people based on their intentions and judge ourselves based on our actions more?"
Take a moment and really, really think about that. (When I read that, I was so awed by the amount of truth in it that I decided to make it my mantra for 2018.) The point is, why is it so easy for us to casually mistake a situation without first reflecting on ourselves? We are so quick to scrutinise the tiny details that we forget to look at the big picture. Through my slow but steady transitional thought process, I realised that often when we are in a situation we are not comfortable with, we overthink the whole picture and start seeing it as a false illusion instead of what it really is, because its easier to fit something into our mould of reality instead of accepting the truth. I've seen this manifested in many people including myself, and in hindsight, when I look back at the times where I've gone through this, I realise things could be a lot simpler if I just took a step back and accepted that some things are just not meant to happen. It hurts sometimes when you don't get what you want, and I'm still very much learning the beauty of acceptance and letting go of things you can't control, but I've definitely come to understand that God put everything in place for a reason. Even if you don't believe in God, please believe that everything that is happening right now is exactly the way it should. You may not see it now and you may not understand, but in the long run, everything will be okay and you will realise that you had to go through the pain in order to get where you are. 

Approaching 21 this year also made me realise that I truly am not my 16-year-old self anymore, physically, mentally and emotionally. I no longer have the metabolism of a growing teenager, and that means I have to care about my health more. 2018 also marks the fifth year of my body image issues, and it's honestly quite scary to acknowledge that this has been something I've been struggling with for so long. Self-love is still something I'm putting a lot of effort in to manifest. In this case, not just physically but emotionally as well. Honestly, I am trying. And I'm trying really hard. I can vouch that it really is all about taking one day at a time and not being too hard on yourself. Sometimes feelings do get really exhausting and I just wish I could somehow detach myself from any emotions so I could feel okay. But emotions are what makes us human, right? We are so flawed and yet we try so hard to hide these flaws, try to hide the way we feel. I'm slowly still trying to learn that it doesn't matter how people perceive you, as long as you love yourself and realise your worth. 

One thing I am so so grateful for is how much I've grown mentally. Training your mental state is, essentially, being conscious of your thoughts and gearing them in the direction you want it to grow. This means accepting your thoughts for what they are, be it good or bad. How I do this is whenever I have a bad thought, I try to think of it from another perspective, the other side of the coin. Don't forget that there is a silver lining to each cloud and there is no way you cannot turn a bad situation into a good one. I try to stay relatively positive by focusing on the things I'm grateful for, and am trying to spread more love to those around me. Admittedly, I do have quite an OCD personality and this usually deters me from sharing my life with people. This may sound confusing to you HAHA so let me explain: I like things my way, ordered and structured and I utterly despise entropy. Because of my independence, in the past I tended to focus a lot more on the things I needed to get done, or how things will work in my favour. Growing up meant that I saw things a lot more broader, and made me realise I needed to open up my heart. So I let people in, and I can honestly say that it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Even though there will always be a small part in my brain that tries to pick on my OCD, I now consciously try to be more open, and am definitely trying very hard to treat people the way I want to be treated. 

Overall, the twenties is such a confusing period of time to be in. People can get their degrees, get jobs, get married, become broke, lose everything they have or achieve everything they ever wanted. You can have your shit together and still be confused as hell. How are we supposed to figure our lives out at this age when we barely know what we want? I definitely do not know what to expect or what to hope for for my next 3 years, let alone the next decade. All I know is this; I'm trying and am willing to try, willing to fight for what I want, willing to learn one step at a time, willing to be a better friend, daughter, sister and person, and am now willing to accept whatever God has in store for me. 
I hope 2018 shapes us all into the kind of people we aspire to be.

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  Croatia - May 2017
Honestly I've had this in the back of my mind ever since Summer started, but never got round to actually blogging about it because I was busy lazy HAHA. This trip actually happened waaaay back in May, 24-28th May to be exact. I think I would've enjoyed the trip a lot more if I watched Game of Thrones back then, but I only started AFTER the trip HAHAHA fml.

Anyway!! Me and my friends took some time off after our final exams to sunny Croatia! We visited two cities, namely, Dubrovnik and Split. Honestly not sure which one I preferred more because both were super pretty. (P.S. didn't put in much effort into this blog post, as I forgot most of the details... sobs)
The city of Dubrovnik was covered in small alleys with stairs, making it hard to find specific places. However, it does give the city that special touch of heritage.




Our first meal was at Barba, which offered seafood burgers and amazing calamari. 



OOTD









We mostly just chilled around the Port of Dubrovnik and the ancient little alleyways, eating ice-cream and looking at things.






I can't even remember what this beach is called... had to scroll through my Insta feed to find it HAHAHA. Anyway its called Banje beach!! LOVE the tranquil colours on the water and skies.





somemore food pics





Went kayaking on our second day there!! No photos because I wouldn't dare to bring my camera out on a kayak... However, I can vouch that the view was gorgeous!!



Dinner at i-forgot-where-because-this-happened-so-long-ago.












Explored the Walls of Dubrovnik on Day 3 and of course...







... ate so much food. Ice-cream was from Dolce Vita and it was super yums!!







drove down to Split the next day with our rented car! The only unpleasing thing about Split was the Airbnb we lived in HAHAHAH. 








Literally this trip was like a food trip though.



cocktails and beers for our night!








Had lunch and chilled at the Port of Split the next day!



Madatory gelato of the day. 




xx


Ended this trip on a high note and really glad I had the company I went with! All in all, would visit Croatia again :)))

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